So I didn't get around to posting yesterday but I felt much much better than I had on day 7. During the day I felt pretty normal but I was still struggling with the lemonades. I think I only got in about 5 or 5 and a half servings. In our little office refrigerator I had stored some maple syrup and I overestimated how much was there. It was only enough for about 4 servings so I had to make that last the day since I didn't want to buy another expensive thing of ms. I guess I am getting used to a not full belly. The work day was okay, somewhat non-eventful but I tried to get a lot of water in. We also had to drive to Claremont for Michael's sister's birthday party. The food looked really good but I didn't cave. Mike's mom said it looked like my cheeks were caved in. I guess the weight loss is finally starting to kick in. It was a relatively uneventful day. My teeth are definitely more sensitive though. I find it hard to try and rinse my mouth out after drinking the lemonade because it feels like I am contantly drinking it. Was going to take a tongue picture before bed last night but was lazy and didn't do it. I also skipped the SWF because I need to rebel from the cleanse somehow. The day before had been so challenging for me, I needed to try and get revenge on the cleanse. Stupid. I know that only slows this whole thing up. So I am back to the SWF this morning and am trying to get much more water in. I want my tongue to turn pink so I can be done with this.
Looking at today's tongue picture, I definitely see an improvement in "pinkness". Eran said he'd bet that I go pink on day 12 or 13. We'll see. I don't think I will be quitting tomorrow. I sort of feel unfinished but if I am not pink by day 15, I think I am still going to stop. Never say never, I guess but that's pretty much where I am at. So I will committ to SWF every day until the end of the cleanse and trying to get extra water in. May go for a sauna at the gym later.
On day 7 I was feeling very discouraged because I hadn't really lost much weight at all. As of today, day 9, I have lost about 5-5.5 pounds since I started. That seems like way less than everyone else but I can't compare myself to others. It also made me realize how messed up I am over my body image and that I did this a bit more for vanity reasons than I thought. I knew i wanted to lose some weight but I guess it just got really in my face when I was honest with myself about how disapointed I was over the lack of weight lost so far. From my understanding, this is a CLEANSE, not a weight loss system. Weight loss is just one of the side effects. Don't get me wrong, I did do this for other reasons too that I think are healthy and valid but rendering it somewhat useless when I wasn't losing weight was an ugly experience. I figured I would quit on day 10 because I felt I had learned the major lesson: "don't do things for the wrong reasons" and that I should eat well and exercise more. However, now I am starting to feel more aligned with carrying out the cleansing portion and really want to get to the goal of a clear tongue. Who knows. I do really miss food though. I see that abstaining completely from certain foods may be the only way that I can avoid my addictive relationship with them. Not sure if I can do that for now but they way I am programmed, I have a hard time stopping eating cookies once I start....
I put on a pair of pants this morning that haven't fit for a few months and now they feel great. Guess that means that my body is changing. I am supposed to go over to a neighbor's house to help with a fish fry. That is going to be a bit tough so I don't know how long I will be staying there. A big juicy burger, some cornmeal fried fish and some french fries with lots of ketchup sounds heavenly right now. These darn cravings have been rough....Well, I guess I'll see ya on day 10!
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