Friday, March 27, 2009

riding a wave of unending happiness

driving in the dark of a pending morning, I felt quiet today. And I settled into myself and thought, "you know, everything is great". It's always interesting when you stop yourself enough to really figure out how you are doing. And it's always so nice when you realize you are doing pretty darn good. When you realize you feel deeply contented.
It's been a whirlwind of a month. I've been sticking to my exercise commitments and that has been a lot of fun for me. There have also been a gazillion events at the catalyst which I always seem to tag along for. I keep teasing Tommy that my exercising is really my extreme physical training regiment to survive being his girlfriend. I'm kidding but I am not....I've burned some serious sober midnight oil with that guy and for whatever reason, I seem to have more energy than I know what to do with. But again, I had a quiet moment this morning that I welcomed and slept so deeply last night wrapped up in his arms that I almost didn't know where the hell I was when I woke up. I probably could have used 3 more good hours of that but duty calls.
Tonight is my friend Matt's sculpture show at the Catalyst and then my party run will slow down a bit. They've got something going on tomorrow that I am going to skip and then Tommy will be in Baltimore for some days. I might do a cleanse, not quite sure yet. Gotta say I am pretty excited about things calming down for the next month. But as for now, I'm just riding the wave Baby!

Friday, March 13, 2009

The importance of Importance

I was reading my friend Justin's blog and he was talking about what we regard as important. Making sure to make the distinction between what we REALLY think is important as opposed to the things we feel we "should". His response was "the road less travelled". When I thought about it, the first thing that came to mind clearly was "being a participant in my life". If I am not being actively creative or feeling passion towards something, I feel dead. Taking responsibility for my own growth is super important too.

The picture here is of the piece that Mr. S and I worked on this past weekend. It stands tall at about 5x4 ft and resides above the dj booth in his room. I love it. And I love that we did it together. About 6 hours of little talking, lots of music and comedy on the stereo. And damnit if taking something to completion doesn't feel good!

Justin's post also inspired me to write out a list here of the things I would like to be accomplishing. Some of them are more lofty than others but I think putting paper to pen somehow empowers the intention. So here goes:

Sing more live shows outside of Big Band gigs
stand up at least once on a surf board
be in good shape by summer
cut out refined sugar from my diet
create a high end macrobiotic dinner party menu
re-do the art on my walls with photography or new paintings
get over my fear of dancing
at least one more animated VO gig
go on vacation somewhere

I will do these things before the end of summer. Yep!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

daylight savings

This last weekend we lost an hour of time but gained an hour of daylight. Totally cut off from the news of the world, I was holed up in a lovewarehouse painting and cooking and loving my honey up. It wasn't until Sunday afternoon that I realized that this change had occurred. Think I've made it through the lost hour of sleep and can now be grateful that it is still sunny at 6pm.

It's been a weird couple of weeks. Rocky at times inside of my head. There were some weird stresses and I finally broke down and had a few good little cries. But I guess I forgot that life is a bit of a roller coaster from time to time. There has been a lot going on. Adjustments, people dealing with health issues, painful dealings with HMO providers, surprising tax debt and work drama. Thankfully, I have found solace in exercise and it has been a great help to my sometimes prone to worry mind. Yesterday, was probably the peak of my feelings of stress and I sweat it all out and remembered that there is no point in trying to control that which I have no control over.

When I really take a step back and look at the grand scheme of things, I know I have it good. There are wonderful friends in my life as well as a kick-ass dude by my side. I'm proud to say that I feel I am in the healthiest, most balanced relationship that I've had to date. It's an odd adjustment to not feel that I have lost my life to someone else. There is still plenty of time to do my own things and when we are togetherthere is an awesome fusion of creativity and chemistry. My honey is yummy.

So thank f'ing goodness I feel like a sane person again. Really thought I was losing it for a second there. Perhaps that is one of the most beautiful qualities of life, the downs existing to illuminate the ups.