Thursday, December 4, 2008

the roller coaster continues


Breakups suck....But when I trust the universe's plan for me, I do feel some comfort. What a roller coaster. First I am up and it is (at times) thrilling, then something happens and I fall, my stomach plummeting to the center of the earth. And I am dramatic and emotional and hateful and lost.
But what else can I do but wait it out? Ride the coaster praying for more trust, more faith, more of that which I deserve....I posted this painting of Frida Kahlo's because I was recently inspired to start a new painting series that picks up where I left off. One of the paintings that I have done which seems to attact attention was done after a different heartbreak. It was very "Kahlo-esque". I want to create more paintings like that with the heart at the center. If I have learned anything, it's that I am a woman who leads with her heart. And my heart will carry me through many a thorny thicket but also peaceful fields that stop you to catch your breath and marvel at this great beautiful world we live in.
I want to pretend that I am in my optimism, which I can't say is a complete lie, but I am in a dark place. That is okay, though. There is growth here, and laughter. Sometimes I want to say, "fuck character building" but I know that I cannot live any other way. Even against my will, I will always chase growth. And I really like that about myself, so ha!

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