this last year has taught me a lot about self-care, nourishment of the heart/soul and finding my hunger. fortunately for me, I believe that the clarity I have from my sobriety has enabled me to be in touch with myself enough to know better than ever when I am "off". The key is to listen to that instinctual voice. In the last few weeks there have been loved ones in need and I have done my best to answer the call. This has, however, caused me to spend a lot of time away from home. I wouldn't change a thing about how I have spent my time but I will admit that I got a bit weary. Driving and sleeping in a foreign bed for nights on end seep a certain energy. Anyway, this week has been more about spending quiet time at home and re-connecting with the fellowship. That was what my gut told me I needed to do and amazingly enough, it has helped restore some energy and peace to my soul. Whodathunk that my gut could know what is best for me? It is a simple epiphany to realize that in all of our relationships we generally just want each other to be happy and we accept and welcome the personal time that we need to make that happen.
I'm not sure what my plans are this weekend but I figure on being pretty mellow and focusing on getting back into my exercise routine and meetings. There is a calm about me that I have missed for a while so I am just trying to be a bit quiet. Driving without the radio on has been an interesting experiment as I find that I don't seem to do much that doesn't add to the noise already present in my head. Trying to minimize the noise.
As a purely indulgent act, I am compiling a list of things I would like to leave as options for this weekend:
start a new painting
bikram yoga class
write a new song, a whole one
peruse craigslist for art/music posts
I'm going to a spoken word show Sunday night with Tommy and some friends so that will be interesting. Other than that, I've got a dentist appt. and a date with the dogs. Should be sweet.
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